As Alice in Wonderland hits theaters, the Patriot would like everyone to reflect on our own Alice, and her adventures.

Trevor Drummond, ’10 wrote Alice in Blunderland in March of 2008. Many of the points raised still hold true today.

The health care summit between the president and Congress a few days ago was pretty much more of the same. The point of the summit is to make some ground on finalizing the health care bill, which is what Congress has been trying to do for months. Republicans want to start over, which gets annoying after awhile when that’s 80% of what they say. The Democrats keep saying the two parties are in agreement on certain things but don’t seem to understand the difference in how the two parties want to handle the problems. The media had a field day, which somehow involved puppets. And then there’s Jon Stewart.

We all know that Lehigh has secrets hidden all around campus. There are those many passageways and underground tunnels that you’ve heard about. There are the rooftop access points, hidden stairwells, and some of those rooms you never knew existed. Personally, I am still hoping to find Asa Packer’s secret bathroom before I leave Lehigh, but such a monumentous discovery  seems unlikely at this point.

Nevertheless, I was able to find something almost as good. There is, in an undisclosed but highly public location, a panel reading “Radiation Control Valve,” shown below (click on image to enlarge).

Shouldn't this be a little more secure? And NOT WIDE OPEN?

What is Lehigh planning? There are a few possibilities:

1. Becoming Green – building a nuclear reactor would make Lehigh carbon-emission free, which would definitely make them stand out among peer institutions.
2. Preparing for the apocalypse – We know the Mayans were on to something going down in 2012, and Lehigh is making sure that its equipped to protect its students, and fight off any zombies that may come calling during the apocalypse.
3. Balancing the budget – Spending $51,00o of tuition per student each year is a challenge. That is, unless you build a nuclear reactor on campus just for kicks.
4. Mislabeling – unfortunately, it is possible that this panel hides a radiator control valve, and that all the valve does is control the heat in the undisclosed building.

Have you found any of Lehigh’s secrets? If so, submit photos or stories to editor@LehighPatriot.com, and let your fellow students know about what Lehigh is hiding. Particularly, if you do hear rumors of Asa Packer’s secret bathroom, please let us know immediately.