Secrets @ Lehigh: Nuclear Ambitions
We all know that Lehigh has secrets hidden all around campus. There are those many passageways and underground tunnels that you’ve heard about. There are the rooftop access points, hidden stairwells, and some of those rooms you never knew existed. Personally, I am still hoping to find Asa Packer’s secret bathroom before I leave Lehigh, but such a monumentous discovery seems unlikely at this point.
Nevertheless, I was able to find something almost as good. There is, in an undisclosed but highly public location, a panel reading “Radiation Control Valve,” shown below (click on image to enlarge).
Shouldn't this be a little more secure? And NOT WIDE OPEN?
What is Lehigh planning? There are a few possibilities:
- Becoming Green – building a nuclear reactor would make Lehigh carbon-emission free, which would definitely make them stand out among peer institutions.
- Preparing for the apocalypse – We know the Mayans were on to something going down in 2012, and Lehigh is making sure that its equipped to protect its students, and fight off any zombies that may come calling during the apocalypse.
- Balancing the budget – Spending $51,00o of tuition per student each year is a challenge. That is, unless you build a nuclear reactor on campus just for kicks.
- Mislabeling – unfortunately, it is possible that this panel hides a radiator control valve, and that all the valve does is control the heat in the undisclosed building.
Have you found any of Lehigh’s secrets? If so, submit photos or stories to editor@LehighPatriot.com, and let your fellow students know about what Lehigh is hiding. Particularly, if you do hear rumors of Asa Packer’s secret bathroom, please let us know immediately.
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Monsieur Mumma -
Excellent satirical article. Your use of sarcasm throughout is quite comical! We should be chastising those who fear the use of the words “nuclear”, “radiation” and others. Well done sir!
In other news, what the bloody hell was the point of this article?
Kindly,
D. Duff
Mr. Duff,
Indeed, there is no actual point to this article. Occasionally, it behooves individuals to read comical material. Often, one’s inability to comprehend or laugh at said material is a classic sign of HLS (Humorless Liberal Syndrome). In this case, I stumbled upon this panel in a rather obscure corner of Lehigh’s campus and found it funny, despite the fact that it obviously does control the heat in the building.
Certainly, neither the Patriot nor myself is making any insinuations that Lehigh harbors any illegal or highly dangerous technology.
Regards,
Ben
Excellent. Just making sure my jest about it being satirical was in fact well-placed. Bravo sir.
Skidmarks: The Best of the Lehigh Patriot, Volume 1.
In its latest issue, practically devoted to attacking The Brown and White and Lehigh’s journalism students, the Lehigh Patriot chastizes the paper for hypocrisy and not tackling hard news.
A few days later, the paper publishes an article on a heating valve and Lehigh’s possible preparation for the apocalypse. That’s not what I’d call hard news, and the hypocrisy here should be addressed.
And if you object, which I’m sure you will, all I’ll say is this…don’t dish it out if you can’t take it.
Boom, roasted!
Phil,
Seriously – this is fodder for a blogroll. The B&W actually PRINTS…read SPENDS TIME AND EFFORT ARRANGING WORDS ON PAPER to publish material of this (or lower) quality.
There’s a considerable difference. And while I’m open to criticism about The Patriot, and the material we cover is not only open, but encouraged in the context of debate, I think what much of Lehigh’s campus fails to see is the that B&W is supposed to be composed of “budding” journalists – people preparing work in an effort to enter into the trade.
To that end, the fact that articles (like the recent piece concerning free speech and FIRE’s rating) which are clearly loaded (interview with someone from your own department – seriously?, clear lack of interest or depth in the subject area) are simply ingredients of bad journalism.
And while I can’t speak for my whole body of writers (Lord knows some of them aren’t fit to caption produce advertisements, let alone tackle hard news), at least my organization isn’t assumed to be composed of journalists.
I’d much rather be a mediocre journalist and business or engineering major, than a mediocre journalist who’s, well… a journalism major.
As an aside, I would personally defend MY writing side-by-side against anything that the B&W produces.
Signor lo scrittore, Trevor Drummond -
Good luck on your apparent endeavour to rid the world of vague and fruitless journalism. I reckon it will take you several decades to finish your task.
I, for one, enjoy some journalism that is not simply news reporting, editorials, and pedantic summaries of back-and-forth arguments.
But I understand you are on a crusade sir. You should start with one of those blogs you mention!
Happy Crusading,
Il lettore Damien Padraig Duff
PS How do you defend (writing) style? Isn’t style inherently a social construct that is based on opinions of others? Hm.
Trevor,
You presume I am on The Brown and White staff, which is in fact not true. I’m someone who typically enjoys reading both publications but has grown increasingly tired of the Patriot’s Fox News-style bashing of the campus’s only news outlet. Say what you will about the Patriot, but it’s not news. It’s ten or so students’ opinions. Completely different. The articles in The Brown and White are news. The articles in the Patriot are opinion.
Not only that, but many (most?) people on The Brown and White staff are not only uninterested in becoming professional journalists, they aren’t even journalism majors (some friends of mine who major in business or engineering have written for the paper for many semesters). On top of that, not all journalism students want to be reporters. To pigeonhole them all into one specific career and chide them because they don’t live up to your standards on a campus which isn’t necessarily a hub of breaking news is not only unfair but mean-spirited.
Also, Professor Kathy Olson teaches a class on media law which focuses primarily on the First Amendment. But I guess the reporter should have gone to a different source outside the department. I’m sure there are plenty of business and engineering professors more qualified to speak on the subject.
Hey everyone,
First, I love how my satirical post has turned into a discussion on much more serious, and indeed more interesting matters.
Phil, because the Brown and White is our campus paper, does that mean that it should not be challenged? You are correct in saying that the Patriot is not necessarily a source of news. However, there are many issues with how the Brown and White has reported news, or kept news quiet in the case of a VPEC/CDO. Ask around, and you will find many many students dissatisfied with the Brown and White’s coverage or lack thereof. We do realize they have a difficult job, but everyone knows they have a lot of room to improve. The Patriot, through several of our editors and writers, are challenging them to do better, albeit occasionally doing so in a humorous way.
Personally, I enjoy when valid criticisms are raised against my writing, or the work of the Patriot in general. While neither myself nor any one person can back the work of every Patriot writer, I stand by the Patriot as a publication that allows students to share their political or social commentary on a variety of issues. Feel free to attack any of my articles, or any of our other writers.
Lastly, as you noted in your earlier post, you accused the Patriot of hypocrisy in mocking the Brown and White. However, our fundamental purpose with the Patriot isn’t to break news to the student body day in and day out. In providing commentary on news, we can criticize an organizations whose purpose is to break news. You may see that as a cop out, and that’s fine – but the two organizations do have fundamentally different purposes, which comes with both benefits and detriments.
Regards,
Ben
Ben,
I took issue with what this post represented in the context of what has been appearing recently in the Patriot and on its site (you know, the ads and such saying the paper is schlock and that it is afraid to confront anything controversial). I completely agree with you that The Brown and White and Patriot have different agendas and purposes. I also agree that The Brown and White is far from perfect. I don’t think anyone, including the editors of The Brown and White, would disagree with that statement.
What I really do take issue with is the constant ribbing of The Brown and White and its STUDENT journalists. Constructive criticism is one thing, but this mocking that’s been going on (especially with the Skidmarks columns) is, as I said in my last post, mean-spirited. We are all students here after all. Students are trying to learn. They shouldn’t be expected to be perfect. If the Patriot wants to stand up and challenge The Brown and White, I support that, but do it in a way that’s helpful for your fellow students, not in a way that mocks them and their work (after all, The Brown and White is a class).
And for the record, I actually quite enjoyed your post and thought it was nice to see the Patriot having some fun (you know, that wasn’t at our fellow students’ expense).
Thank you for sharing your opinions.