The Google Zone
By: Benjamin Mumma
“History shows us that differences in leadership tend to result in war, conflict, and dead people.”
This brilliant analysis of world events provides us clear evidence why the world cannot continue as it stands today. The status quo is extremely dangerous: people in charge of an entire nation who disagree with the people in charge of other nations. With only the United Nations supposedly existing above the fray, our 200 worldly factions are essentially in a constant state of war. This is why, as the scholar points out, we get wars and dead people.
Ever since this concept was understood by experts in International Relations, the hope has been for nations to unite, and eventually form a world government. Like the League of Nations and the United Nations, such an organization would be doomed to failure. Look at the United States – our government can’t even handle protecting the basic rights of 300 million people. Trying to govern 6 billion people would look something like the United Nations, but a whole lot worse. Yet a solution must be found, lest we wish to continue on this never-ending path of war, death, and destruction.
Fortunately, very smart people are working on a solution to this problem. Experts suggest that Google is about 15 to 20 years away from conquering the world. For anyone familiar with Google’s success, this shouldn’t come as a shock. Unless you purposely Google-proof yourself, Google owns your emails, your chats, your search history, your documents, and much more. Books? Google just bought the rights to all of them for $125 million. Phone conversations? Google’s new Android mobile phone service will take care of those. Android phones are GPS enabled, so Google will know where you are at all times. Combine that with Google Earth, and they will know just about everything about everyone.
According to rumors, the plan is a stealthy one. Once they are ready, they will either blackmail the needed Government officials, or handle them in other ways. Last year, Google spent about $2.8 billion on “Research and Development,” but many speculate that these astronomical sums are going toward something more sinister. It is entirely possible that a small army of robots could be used to seize control of the United States Government. The end result is the same – eventually Google will take over the United States, and then use the United States to create a world government that they are directly in charge of.
All of this is unavoidable, and rather mundane. Google is so adept at takeovers that we may not even notice the difference. Would anyone be surprised if Barack Obama was actually a Google-owned robot? But the fun comes in speculating what will happen once Google does have absolute power over “The Google Zone,” or Earth as we call it today. What rights will the Google Government grant us? How would the all-powerful government respond to criticism? Will this corporate regime solve all of the world’s problems – or just most of them? No one – except for Google Executives – knows these answers for sure.
Some people have raised concerns about a Government derived from, or in the pocket of, a profit-driven business. But a corporate government would have many benefits. Companies don’t declare war on each other, companies actually try to be efficient, and companies actually work to solve problems for people, not create them as governments do. Many predict that Google’s power grab will bring with it a true age of enlightenment and human growth greater than any advancement seen. Google is already sponsoring the private space race , so it is likely that colonization of the moon will occur within 50 years. Google brain implants will allow users to know anything almost instantly, and even the dumbest of people will be able to sound smart.
Beyond that, humans will finally realize their potential to produce the ideal government. Our current government has always plagued us through its senseless bureaucracy and wasteful spending. A Google Government won’t do that, since it has a fundamental goal to be profitable. This will allow them to work to grow the economy, discover the ideal tax plan, and spend money wisely. While experts search for a government in existence that can do all three of these, Google is plotting its revolution. Some predict Google will simply get elected everywhere in 2024, removing the need for any takeover at all. However it passes, one thing is known for certain – the path to worldwide peace and prosperity can only be found by Google.
Sources:
Mumma, Benjamin. On Nation Relations and Worldly Affairs. Yet to be published as of 2/12/2009.
http://www.google.com/intl/en/press/pressrel/20081027_booksearchagreement.html
http://www.google.com/finance?fstype=ii&q=NASDAQ:GOOG
http://www.youtube.com
http://www.cnn.com/2008/TECH/space/06/20/google.lunar.xprize/index.html
