Spare Me the Change
By: John Dao
So if you notice the title, this article is about changes, in keeping with the theme for this month’s issue: “changes on campus!” More specifically though, the article is about why changes suck and how we deal with them. What’s that? Changes can be for the better, you say? Of course they can! However, that’s not my point; it’s that change itself is an awful experience, which could leave a lesser human confused, scared, angry, or even changed.
“Oh, but John, change forces us as humans to adapt and evolve to survive! It’s what Darwin would’ve wanted!” Evolution? Whoa hold on there! My conservative mindset tells me to disregard evolution as a trick of the devil, just like fossils and chimpanzees! Even if we did “evolve”, we are still not any better at changing. Now how can a species that’s come so far in evolution not be willing to change? The answer is: evolution doesn’t exist for us, at least not willingly. Evolution got us here, but it’s not going to take us anywhere. We are the only species to change the environment around us instead of changing ourselves to fit the environment. Isn’t it odd that there is only one species of human, but many species of everything else? Any adaptations we undergo slowly creep in and become the new norm, kind of like Crocs and Uggs (very useful adaptations at that). On a side note, I’m tired of the entire stereotyped dumb girl with Uggs/North Face pull-over/jeans/huge sunglasses cartoons in the Brown and White. Seriously, picking on them isn’t funny anymore; it’s like making fun of emo kids, done to death and too easy (not the girls, the jokes, mind you).
If there’s one thing I have learned observing people, it’s that people do not react to change well. We like to hold onto a foundation, a safety net to fall back on so we never fall too far if things go wrong, something that will never change no matter what happens. When something comes along that is truly life changing, it often involves letting go of that foundation, to follow that new path. Only by letting go of possibly the thing you hold most dear, your family, friends, your life and support, can you ever truly change. Of course this is the hardest, most painful thing a person can do, to let go, but for doing so you will feel much more value for your new path. It’s a path wrought with tears, anger, frustration, and sadness, so it’s no wonder we hate change. Why we endure it is because if it is something we want badly enough, it should be worth fighting for. Even with simple changes, such as moving into new surroundings, not knowing what to expect, fills us with a primal fear, of that which is unknown.
“Well John, you seem to be getting at something, but you’ve only said what’s been obvious to everyone. How is this worthy of being published?” It’s not, but honestly I’m not getting paid for this, so it works out. So for my final trick, I will save this piece by linking it to something relevant, like say… the upcoming 2008 presidential candidates! You ever notice how every single candidate’s slogan goes something like “Awful Candidate Here: FOR CHANGE!” Well obviously you are for change, we aren’t electing you so you can sit on your ass all day and get paid to dine with queens. None of them are your traditional cookie-cutter presidential candidate, one of them is a black man with a Muslim heritage, one is a woman, one is a former prisoner of war (a president who has actually seen war? Now that’s old school), one an ex-minister turned politician, one is a Mormon, one has been three times married and probably the best Democratic candidate with a shot of winning, and the other isn’t important enough to merit a mention. Talk about a change. America is in a tough spot right now: through a series of unfortunate events, we’ve wound up trying to fix Social Security, fix the border, fix Iraq, fix Iran, fix international relations, fix dinner, fix elections, and fix taxes all while we keep up to date on how Britney is doing, and voting for our favorites on American Idol.
So who can take control of America during this trying time of change, to lead us down a new path without steering us into the rocks? Who can handle such enormous pressure to change the world? Well I guess Satan could, I mean that guy is all for change. How long has God been in power now? Maybe “In Satan We Trust” doesn’t sound too bad… since it’s for change! And change is a good thing, right?
