Thursdays are Fucking Mandatory
Editor’s note: Sarah is an undergraduate student at Lehigh University. She made the choice to depledge from her Sorority. This is her story.
“Thursdays are fucking mandatory.” It was only a text message, but I could hear the shrill words of my pledge master ringing in my ears. What bullshit, I thought, as I often do after reading almost any text message that is sorority-related. I wasn’t going anywhere; I erased the message without responding.
I lay in bed, waiting for the rest of the text messages to arrive. The classic, “Where the fuck r u?!” or the standard, “ I don’t know why you think pledging is optional.” I think pledging is optional because I am sick. Very sick. Although I don’t even bother telling people that again, because they don’t believe me, let alone ask how I’m feeling. “ We’re all sick. Jill has a stomach virus and she’s still here. Just get here NOW!” Stomach virus? That’s all I need to catch. Of course I’m not going. And Jill shouldn’t either.
I don’t know if it’s because I am older then the rest of my pledge class, or more mature, or experienced, but I do know that jeopardizing your health, or the health of those around you is just stupid. Go home, Jill. And Erica, if you’re all sick, then don’t go out every night and binge drink. It’s just common sense.
I used to not see the difference between freshmen, like those in my pledge class, and real people. Now I do. I am not a freshman. I know this because unlike the rest of my pledge class, I already know myself. I know how to drink…and when to stop. I know that I cannot go out partying until all hours of the night, every night, and still expect to keep up the grades I know I’m capable of. (Dana, if you’re failing two of your classes, then maybe you should consider sitting tonight out.) I know how to handle stress without bashing in the faces of those in my general vicinity, which brings me to another distinction: social grace. Mine is a finely tuned instrument, which I play fluently, and beautifully. Their social grace, if capable of sound, would bring most back to the days of elementary school band concerts, where children pitifully struggled to play the three notes of Hot Cross Buns.
“Look hot tonight,” is the next text I receive. If hot means dressing like the rest of the girls, then count me out. If hot means wearing a shirt as a dress and forgetting underwear, then forget me dressing hot tonight. If hot means getting up on tables and waving my arms in the air, oblivious to the fact that I went commando, then no, I will not look hot tonight; I’ll wear jeans.
I often wonder why I even bother with pledging. It is certainly not the sisterhood that I need. My mother blessed me with two sisters, whose unconditional love for me is ever supportive. Where they lack, my real friends fill in. Friends, who when I’m sick, don’t order me out of bed, but bring me soup and take my temperature without my asking. Friends, who hold me up in the shower when my fever hovers around 104 degrees and I’m unable to stand. Friends, who don’t turn their heads, pretending not to see me around campus, but scream my name and wave their arms around like lunatics to get my attention. Friends. Sisters. That’s not why I’m joining a sorority.
Some girls dream of living in a sorority house, complete with chef, communal showers, and forced triple rooms. I do not. In fact, I have no intention of living in a house with forty other women. I. Would. Die. Between the drama, the cat fights, the trash talking, the fat talking, the raging eating disorders. I cannot live in the house. In fact, I already have specific plans to not live in the house. I signed the lease for my off-campus townhouse months ago. Complete with queen size bed, walk-in closet, and private bathrooms.
Finding it was a miracle. I’ll live with the girl who I did not pay to be my social support system. The girl who asks what I have been doing – interested, as opposed to telling me what I should have been doing, apathetic to any reality beyond sorority events. So, why pledge? I don’t like to go out every night like the rest of the girls in the “sisterhood”. I don’t want to. I’ll admit it. There are times when a few glasses of wine, and the boy of the moment are all I need to fulfill my desires of the night. But every so often, I’ll get that urge. That urge to wear a little extra makeup. That urge to throw on my shortest dress, and my highest heels. That urge to drink to get drunk. To dance on bars, and kick people’s drinks over without a care in the world. Ever so rarely, I’ll get that urge to go out. And when I do, I don’t want to roam the Hill, listening for the loudest music, or looking out for the slightest signs of a party. I want to have somewhere to go every night of the week and someone designated to drive me there. Plus, it really alleviates any competition when girls are expected to back off when I have some frat boy wrapped around my fingers, drooling. And having an entire house of girls pledge not to give any of my past love interests the time of day, just to screw them over, is pretty reassuring after a breakup.
So, why didn’t I pledge? Because Thursdays are not fucking mandatory, and I am more than capable of confidently going to a party without the protection of a social security blanket
Good for you. I respect this.
This piece drips with satire and I love it! Onwards with the upper middle class students who can afford private bathes, bedrooms with queen sized beds, and the works! The oppressed college students at rich private universities struggling through social dilemmas! We have not heard their quieted voices. Marvelous. Much more interesting than this whole dining service labor union debacle.
I’m glad you like it. What else do you want to hear me rant on about?
I don’t think you quite understood Damien’s point.
The entire Greek system is not as you described. Obviously there are houses which fit your stereotype (or it wouldn’t be a stereotype), but you should not be trashing the whole system just because of your personal feelings on Thursday night pledging.
You probably should not be including GPAs for a sorority that follows a completely different intake process from the rest of the mainstream organizations at Lehigh. Not only does Lambda Theta Alpha Latin Sorority, Inc. not participate in the annual rush/pledging process, but they also only have three active members to contribute to the chapter average.
This is absurd. Obviously, you are one of those people who chose a house for their reputation or because your friends liked it.
First off, you obviously have a flawed sense of going out. This may be Lehigh, but not everyone goes out and gets smashed every night. There have been many nights when I have gone out and stayed sober for the night. If you assume that going out entails getting drunk out of your mind then you apparently have absolutely no idea how to interact with others and must be an extremely socially awkward individual.
I chose my house because I actually do not feel like I need to abandon my morals when i’m with my sisters. When I say sisters, I mean I would fight to my death to stand up for them. They are part of my family. Yes, I said it; they are family. Families love and care for one another. No they may not be perfect. Who is? I pity you that you truly could not get from your ex-house what I have received from my sisters in my 4 years here at Lehigh. These ladies have been there for me through thick and thin. They have helped me from things as small as boy drama to more serious issues when I found out that I had cancer.
So for those of you who like to trash Greek life and say that we buy our friends, I have just one point to make to you. They were the best investment, I could have ever made in my life.
Thanks for this article. It was refreshingly honest. While I trust that not all sororities are as bad as the one you pledged, and I acknowledge the legitimate positive experiences of some, such as ‘over you’ above, I think that, in general, the LU Greek system perpetuates false brotherhood, and false sisterhood. The theoretical concept of a fraternity is appealing to me, but its practical manifestations at Lehigh are discouraging at the least.
Where is the Greek system in which members challenged each other to greater academic excellence, moral formation, and social service instead of pressuring each other into degenerative hedonism and narcissistic self-indulgence?
Some of LU’s sororities and fraternities incorporate some positive aspects, but a great many of them do not.